#this is literally just concepting her at the moment

[silasoctakiseron]

Every single one of you has managed to somehow be wildly, stunningly incorrect as to whether Silas Octakiseron would become a Lyctor in the absence of external pressure, which is sort of insane given the multiple chapters clearly stating the extent to which he Would Not Do That, including the chapter in which he literally dies in large part due to his staunch opposition to Doing That. But we can go over this again, that's fine. Hopefully this is in some way clarifying.

The first indication we're given regarding Silas's attitude toward Lyctorhood is when he's talking to Gideon in chapter 28, when he reveals that he's not just opposed to the Ninth achieving Lyctorhood, but that he thinks no one should, and that he himself has already abandoned the entire endeavor.

"In fact, I am unsure that any of us should become Lyctor. Since when was power goodness, or cleverness truth? I myself no longer wish to ascend, Gideon."

We can combine that with his specific breed of annoyingness in chapter 33 to deduce that whatever he saw in the only Lyctoral challenge he completed (implied to be Anastasia's, since he has the black key already when he takes Cytherea's off her) was enough to put him off the concept entirely:

"I won the first key to see what I was up against, and took possession of two more to preserve them from misuse," said Silas. "I hate this House. I despise the reduction of a holy temple to a maze and a puzzle. I took the keys so that you wouldn’t have them. Nor the Sixth, nor the Third."

Then, of course, we get to chapter 34, in which Silas literally dies because of how staunchly morally opposed he is to the truth of Lyctorhood as a concept and how convinced he is of the idea that Ianthe should be put down like a dog for having pursued it.

"So that is Lyctorhood," said Silas. He sounded quiet, almost fretful, lost in thought. Gideon thought—just for a moment—that she could see Colum Asht's throat working, that his pupils had dilated just a very, very little. "To walk with the dead forever … enormous power, recycled within you, from the ultimate sacrifice … to make yourself a tomb." "You understand, don't you?" said Ianthe. "Yes," said Silas. Colum closed his eyes and was still. "Yes," repeated Silas. "I understand fallibility … and fallibility is a terrible thing to understand. I understand that if the Emperor and King Undying came to me now and asked me why I was not a Lyctor, I would fall on my knees and beg his forgiveness, that any of us had ever failed this test. May I be burnt one atom at a time in the most silent hole in the most lightless part of space, Lord—Kindly Prince—should I ever contemplate betraying the compact you appointed between him, and you, and me." Colum opened his eyes again. "Silas—" he began. "I will forgive you eventually, Colum," said his purse-mouthed uncle, "for assuming I would have been prey to this temptation. Do you believe me?" "I want to," said his nephew fervently, with a thousand-yard stare and his missing finger twitching around his shield. "God help me, I want to."

[meo-eiru]

MERU😭😭😭 i finally had a free moment to relax and the first thing i wanted to do was play hold your tongues and i've spent the last few hours pouring over how absolutely beautiful of a piece it is in storytelling and visuals. i genuinely have so much to gush over and idk where i should be doing it so into your inbox it goes. i apologise in advance, you also don't have to respond to this bc 1) i am aware it's gonna get vv long and 2) spoilers will definitely be mentioned

i hope sel knows what an absolute gem of a writer she is for executing all of this bc i am fucking gobsmacked by how well certain ideas and concepts were interwoven throughout the entire piece. maybe a lot of the things following are just my interpretations, but that's another thing i really really love — there's enough ambiguity in the prose to be able to infer it in so many different ways

first to the namesake of the game, ‘hold your tongues’ and the many connotations of tongues that are explored throughout; as symbols of liberation and entrapment that intermingle so so well. i feel like the game really delves into the struggles that women face in society, in relationships, just in general and i like how since it's done so through maelyn's own perspective, we're privy to a more complex and raw display of how deeply emotionally scarring it can be.

eric is a little bitch imo (i won't retract that statement ever) but the ever judgmental, taunting and superior tone he has as the ‘voice’ in maelyn's head speaks volumes of the character he possessed and the lasting impact it had on her. giving her dress to another man makes her ‘unfaithful’, the fact that it's emphasised that these are only ‘remains’ of a dress too — bc eric left her with shreds, physically, mentally. 

if we take the dress to act as a metaphor for maelyn herself, he left her in shreds.

in response to this, maelyn bites her tongue, so hard that it bleeds. it's restraint, quite literally biting back your anger and the feeling of being wronged. grounding yourself again to the harsh reality of it all, and it brings her back to the present moment when starling points it out.

we see a similar occurrence later on when maelyn relays her tongue ‘longing for a taste, was to be kept down.' so again, she stops herself (and i think the wording here is particularly interesting, that it was to be kept, so intrinsically this too may also link to how women are commonly taught to be submissive and forced to fit to certain standards). 

in both contexts, the act of biting the tongue can be taken as a suppression of some sort of desire — the first is the desire to be mad, and the second is the desire of lust. both which women have been criticised for through the ages.

i also like to think that the tongue is a representation of freedom. starling is very much making wings to fly out of them, and taking them away from ppl has ‘forever deprived of their ability to lie’ (in which case lying = freedom, i won't expand on this too much bc it'll be another whole essay😭) so going back to maelyn, her biting hers can also be seen as her freedom being hurt, prevented.

another thing is, the line just before ‘he never ran out of tongues’, we can take this as starling never having his freedom threatened. and it poses further questions. is this because of his strength? is it because he has the ocean ‘wholly’? is it because he's a ‘man’?

on my first run through, one of the most prominent questions i came away w/ was what was it that attracted maelyn to starling? to the concept of these monsters of the sea that had surpassed human constraints that had her waiting out all those hours to catch a glimpse of one to begin with. what was it that kept her coming back? time and time again, day after day when she could've not gone back to that shore after leaving.

the text narrates a couple of things that i think contributed, there's a sense of warring humanity and animosity in the repetitive motifs of dirt and uncleanliness, in her noting that starling looked ‘half a man’ and that one half could've ‘consumed’ the other. maelyn has an envy that's touched upon frequently. does maelyn want to be closer to a monster so that no one can hurt her? or does she feel like a monster is all she can be now?

then there's a dynamic with power that was honestly done so well. again, my praise to sel for how well thought out it all was. that part where she put her hand into his guts and he made sounds he was ‘unable to control’, another when she tells him ‘cut’ and he does so without question — she recognises she holds the reins in that moment, acknowledges, ‘in control, I breathed.’ 

starling listens to her for the most part, it's a reoccuring theme. even when making his wings, he's following her instructions although it's made clear that he learns quick and is capable. perhaps this gives her comfortability.

but we see this turn on its head when things start to go left, starling begins to do as he pleases and maelyn is taken back into her trauma, back to feeling ‘disgusting’ and ‘unclean’, she even apologises and promises to do better.

leashes are mentioned a few times, maelyn first describes them as a sort of ‘necklace’ — perhaps this is tribute to the way a woman's submission is often beautified and normalised. the ‘leash’ starling puts on her in one of the ends is made of pearls, he keeps it in his mouth before this. could this be a reference to eric's sweet words that bound maelyn before he revealed himself? starling ties it somewhat loosely ‘so she could breathe’ yet that doesn't take away the fact that it's still there. it has a sort of your cage is not small, but that doesn't mean you're not locked in it kinda feel.

there's so much more i could say but i think ive alr said too much😭 i didnt even get to touch on the cuddle ending which was my favourite, or the symbolism of losing fingers, the significance of the numbers two, three and four to the story. I DIDN'T EVEN TALK MUCH ABT THE ART😭😭 MERU SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED BUT THE ART WAS PHENOMENAL❗️❗️❗️❗️

maelyn is super pretty and i love how her and starling contrast each other in design so nicely. starling's expressions were stellar ++ the bgs and cgs were beautiful (you're right, if you didn't clarify it i would think you were behind the chest one haha). also the body horror aspect was really brought to life with the visuals and ik it definitely mustn't have been easy drawing all those organs, thank you for your service meruuuu

i'll shut up here before i write another 3k, but both you and sel did such a great job w/ this. the two of you deserve a nice break to rest so pls make sure to take things easy and take care of yourselves!! drink water and sleep when you can, and know that you've made a masterpiece♥️

OH MY GOD THIS ASK IS MAKING ME GO FERAL

It's so well written??? You did such a good job picking up the details hidden behind their lines??? I fish you continued writing because I for sure did not want to finish it and please do send the other thoughts you had if you can, I love this so much

I'm sure @celerifleuri will too so I'll tag her

You already mentioned the spoilers at the start but I'll also note it down here for people who haven't played the game yet. I'm sure sel will do a much better job answering your story analyses but I'll also say you're completely right with most things you've said.

The story takes place in 1800s with dated gender roles we unfortunately can still relate to. Maelyn is a curious woman who wants to study and experiment, but is being held back by society and even people who she thought she could trust, but again Sel will do a better job explaining those.

I'll talk about the art a bit. One thing I really enjoyed that was kinda unintentional on my part was the use of night and day.

The story starts at night time, the first ever cg we get of Maelyn is her jumping down the cliff, with the moon's reflection on her left and the waves giving an illusion of wings as she looks up, in that very moment she is free.

On the other hand the first ever cg of Starling is day time. The sun is shining brightly from his left, almost blindingly, as he looks down. His hair covering the screen like spider webs.

To contrast these, it's night time in the wood ending. Just like the first cg of Maelyn, we can see the soft moonight shining upon them but not quite reaching Starling's face. Maelyn is alive.

Meanwhile in the bone ending, even though they are underwater we can tell it's day time, just like the first Starling cg. We get to see a glimpse of them through the seaweeds covering our view, the sunlight showering them gently. Starling is alive.

For the character designs too, a bit of a reverse but I'd say Maelyn resembles the sun, meanwhile Starling is like the moon.

They both share green eyes, although quite different shades. Maelyn has bright red hair that contrasts Starling's red tongue tail.

I also like that Maelyn's hair, albeit a bit loosely, is braided and kept tidy. Meanwhile Starling's hair is usually all over the place and quite messy.

[akirakirxaa]

I've been neglecting Akiraha, so behold, my concept for an Akira x G'raha child, all grown up and going on adventures of her own. <3

[ef-1]

girlhood

[mumbledramblings]

one thing i don't like about the roberto 'ben affleck meme' art is people responding like "yup that's him just tired of everyone else's bs" as if he isn't just as obnoxious as the rest of them. like this dude instigated most of the drama in the first ep, he's just also a depressed alcoholic.

[recareels]

i think you're trying to kill us with those delicious teacher reca & big brother sunday posts !!!! /pos please keep it coming~

HAHAHAHA oh my gosh anon i am so glad you read my tags lmaoooooo <33 UGH i’m obsessed with it!! can you imagine how upset Big Brother sunday would be to hear that his precious baby sister is fucking a man nearly thrice her age??? that goddamn director who is as sleazy as he is acclaimed??? who is also in a position of extreme power over her as her professor???

he says the term ‘director’ as if it stings his tongue, as if it’s some obscene, disgusting word, face wrinkled as he spits it through gritted teeth—that director. which is weird, you think, considering sunday was such a fan of mr reca’s refined artistry before the renowned director began to take an interest in you���

hehehe <33 i will definitely keep it coming!! it might just be in the form of tiny fragments like this, tho i did write this little piece where reader comes home, breathless with exhilaration, to tell Big Brother sunday that she secured the highly sought after internship with mr reca and sunday responds with such callous indifference to her big accomplishment >.< makes her feel small and stupid and so silly about it all >.< that’s about all i’ve got in terms of a narrative, tho!!

[kavehater]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[swordmaid]

thinking abt jaime having to cuddle with a wounded brienne because it’s cold and she’s shivering and having nightmares …

[spock-adoodledoo]

oh my god i just finished the dark forest finally. 7/10 i suppose, i went through the first half or so of the book being really annoyed by luo ji but also enjoying the chapters where he shows up because unfortunately he was entertaining. still don't understand the imaginary girlfriend thing, it just feels like he needs someone to protect from the world which like ??? ok sure i guess, it just rubs me the wrong way personally. for the second half and especially the end i became luo ji's number one defender it's fine. for the rest, holy crap—the droplet, the microcosm of the universe on those runaway ships, the wallfacer project, luo ji drawing from rey diaz's plan, the attitude of the world towards him, the entire theory... wow

[mortalscience]

[pynkhues]

I am very very curious about that tower scene because Sam said in an interview that he didn't think Lestat was at the tower voluntarily--so if Armand put him there, how much of Louis' memory of that scene is accurate? Lestat looks very well put-together for a prisoner, and how is he being kept there? So much about that scene felt intentionally odd (even, and you touched on this in your fic, that Lestat says that he wasn't kept in the room with the corpses/"disappointments", whereas he'd told Louis and Claudia that he was kept in a room with corpses).

I'm really curious too, anon! It definitely feels like one that's going to be revisited, probably in more ways than one given Magnus' tower is such a vital location across The Vampire Lestat, and it makes sense that Sam would say that too given Lestat's not there by choice in the book. Like you said, Armand takes him there after the trial (and pushes him out the window to debilitate him further) and I'm curious as to how much of that the show keeps. They've changed a few elements of that sequence already that I don't think can be reversed - like Claudia's dress ending up with Louis for instance, not Lestat - and the bigger fact of Louis seeing Lestat then at all when in the book Armand tells him Lestat died in the theatre fire even though he knows he didn't).

You're right though that it's an odd scene, both between how good Lestat looked (but then Louis' memories of how he looked at the trial too were coloured by other emotions given the revisited scenes at the end showed how unwell he actually looked) and that change in what Lestat tells Louis about where he was kept in Magnus' tower feels pointed given 2.08 spends quite a bit of time pointing out its own deliberate inconsistencies with s1 moments.

I think like a lot of these scenes, Louis' memory of it will be a partial truth, but it lacks the context that we have (and he now, at least, has some of). I also kiiind of imagine Lestat and Armand are probably talking to each other too with the mind link in that scene, but obviously we're not privvy to if that's happening or what it might entail yet.

I can't wait to see what they do with it.

[dreampearls]

i really do enjoy nahida sooo much conceptually shes 100% my favorite archon i just wish she wasnt the lolibait oneeeeeeeeee

[firstofficerkittycat]

12 should've been rivers doctor and I will never be ok with only having like 15 minutes of them being together they got 24 years but we never got to see any of it fuck offffffff

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

No but because I'm in a mush mood, in my HC, Asparagus has been the only constant presence in Jellylorum's life since she was a week old. Their father was spotty in their early years until he stepped up, their mother died when they were relatively young, cats have moved up and moved on, but they have always been together. It's always come back down to her and him, regardless of how often they disagree and squabble and drift into their own goings on; it started that way and it will end that way, and I'm just a little sad about it.

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread      

The Name Bearer

Queer Latinx YA fantasy

a girl destined to bring the newborn king’s name from the flowers of prophecy to them, is instead told she must wait 10 years to find the new true king, and is taken to train in hiding with a group of warrior women

found family, start of series

[dawnedon]

one inspiration of dawn is the concept of someone staying at their friends house so often, borderline living there, because it's a much better, safer, and more fun alternative than being at your own home.